Spring Break is in the air! Along with wet t-shirt contests, sweaty frat bros, beer bongs, and debauchery. And let’s not forget about all those late nights stuffing your face with Jimmy John’s in a bikini.
But Spring Break wasn’t always this way, and a Gargantuan with extra mayo at 2am wasn’t always your sandwich of choice. Think back to those family trips to Disney World, amusement parks, and Ft. Lauderdale. There you were, floating in a sea of beer bellies and jorts eating a Slim 6 cut in half.
Spring Break used to be an innocent week off of school. You would return rejuvenated and glad you didn’t have to hang out with your parents anymore. Those innocent days are not behind us, hang in there people.
Spring Break Trip: Road Trip to Disney World or some other fairytale land…
Sammie: Slim 1-6
Words can’t describe this you. You were living the dream. Literally, you were in a place where dreams came true. You had your sammie in one hand and mom’s hand in the other. No one was stopping you.
Spring Break Trip: Some beach resort that somehow only had families your age or people over 70
Sammie: Subs 1-6
You were starting to realize Spring Break could also be spent with friends, but you were cool with the fam…for now. Your taste buds evolved a tiiiiny bit and you started getting lettuce on your sammie. And don’t forget playing Marco, Polo with that kid from some town you’ve never heard of, oo la la.
Spring Break Trip: Okay, trashy Spring Break scene. It’s on!
Sammie: The Gargantuan
Here’s what we’ve come to know as Spring Break. These are the years you’ve been waiting for, but also the years you’ll soon want to forget. The only explanation needed is that you will spend this chunk of your life eating Gargantuans, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on.
Spring Break Trip: Abroad, wineries or places where there are no other humans
You’re smart, you’ve got a big kid job, you might have a family. You have responsibilities and now you eat lettuce wraps. Well you try to… These are the years of “What are you? Like, 12?” and “It’s too loud in here, let’s go home.”
Spring Break Trips: LOL, your backyard.
Sammie: Your usual.
You made it. Retirement. Your life is one giant Spring Break trip and you spend your time relaxing, golfing in your backyard, and telling your grandkids about the good ‘ol days. By this time you have your usual sammie. You’ve tried them all, but one just sticks.